Hope Springs Eternal, As Does Despair

So now the house has been on the market for 2 years and 6 months. SERIOUSLY. I have a trailer full of things in my yard that has been there almost that long, filled with my hopes and dreams which I now no longer remember. We have shown the house on average once every 3 weeks FOR THE LAST TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Being a lapsed catholic, I dutifully buried a statue of St. Joseph in the front yard lo these many months ago, but he has apparently been on vacation. For those of you who don't know, St. Joe is the patron saint of real estate or houses or some such witchery. To get your house to sell faster you are supposed to bury him in your front yard about a foot down, say a prayer over him and do a shot (I made up that last part). When we wanted to sell the last house we lived in, my dear friend Maribeth sent him to me, and he worked like a charm. This time around, nothing. COME ON! I am assuming that all the saints have jobs, and I was under the impression that this job was his. HEAVENLY SLACKER! That is not to say that we left it up to him alone.......not being superstitious, I long ago decided to cover all of my bases, so we had a little voodoo shrine going (complete with shot of rum and cigar) santaria candles, a little incense holder for Buddha, a Jesus candle and a Pope candle. WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT?!!?!?!? I even put some voodoo symbols on the House of the Rising Sun (my chicken coop). Crap. Nothing but cycles of cleaning, excitement, despair, resignation, cleaning, excitement, despair, resignation, lather, rinse and repeat until it drives you to drink (oh, wait....already...nevermind) Oh well, today is gorgeous and I spent some outside time with the horde......and decided to move St. Joe. Harrison suggested that the lightning tree would be lucky (not sure why since we call it the lightning tree due to the fact that it has been struck by lightning a million times) Maybe the fact that the tree has been hit so many times is what makes it lucky. I'm going to lay money on the fact that I somehow damaged it's root system with my Catholic tomfoolery and now it will die. Probably in a spectacular and unlikely fashion. So I buried him again. If it works I'm buying everyone a round of drinks.
*****adding to my post........the weird thing is that this day is St. Josephs feast day.....I did not know that....maybe something good will come of his move.*******