OK, so this one is just for you, Michelle - now you know where to come for your recipes. I made sloppy joes for the family once long ago, and I happened to read the Manwich can, only to discover that I had all of the ingredients on the can. (at least, all of the ones that weren't scary man made chemicals) I propose a ban on things that you can make for yourself just as easily as using a mix or a can...it is really not that hard, and it makes even a dinner of sloppy joes special, home made and nutritious. Here is my recipe for sloppy joes - take it, make it, and make it your own. There all sorts of things you could add to customize this recipe : jalapenos, chipotle peppers, chunks of cheese, whatever. In our family, we don't worry if we have hamburger buns or not, since everyone likes them slopped on a plate and cut up anyway. Tonight it was wheat bread. Ready for a new family favorite?
1 lb ground beef
1 small onion
Garlic
1/2 red pepper (green if you like, but I don't)
Chili Powder
Cumin
Pepper
Basil
Worcestershire Sauce
Molasses
1 can hunts tomato sauce (the regular size can)
Chop your onion, pepper and garlic into chunks that make you happy. (i use garlic powder just as often as fresh) Saute in oil till the onion is translucent. Add beef and cook through. Give it a couple of grinds of your pepper mill, about 1 tablespoon of chili powder, and a teaspoon each (about) of cumin and basil. Three good healthy shakes of the Worcestershire sauce, and around a tablespoon of molasses (Harry likes it with more). Add the can of Hunts and let it all cook for ten minutes on low, till it is just as sloppy or tight as you like it. Serve on bread or buns, with or without cheese. I promise you that you will never go back to the can again.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Holy Hot Pretzels!
So I got it in my head to make pretzels. I looked and looked for a recipe for hard pretzels and couldn't find one. So then I started the search for a soft pretzel recipe and discovered that the internets have become a wasteland of crappy recipes. So I took several recipes and put them together, and WOW. Hot from the oven these are WELL worth the trouble (which ain't much) and they are still yummy cold. I let the kids dip them in chocolate sauce, I dipped mine in mustard, but if I had my way my Walmart would have had the liquid cheese that I favor - Rico's. If you haven't had it, you don't understand. So the only thing that you need for these that you might not have lying around is almost 3/4 of a cup of baking soda. I buy mine at BJ's, so it wasn't a problem for me. I use instant dry yeast, which does not need to be activated, so if you are using active dry or something else, do what you would normally do to activate it. Here we go:
In my mixer, I put:
5 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of yeast (one pkg)
1 tablespoon salt
1/4 cup brown sugar
mix
to that add 2 cups of hot water
adjust the mixture until it is doing what bread dough should do - cleaning the sides of the bowl and not being really sticky to the touch. let your machine knead this for 2 minutes, or get your workout in and do it by hand for 10 to 15 minutes, till the dough is silky and elastic. place in greased large bowl, cover with plastic wrap and leave in a warmish place to rise until doubled (about an hour)
Divide dough into 12 balls. I did 16, but they ended up being fat little pretzel rolls instead of pretzels. I want them to be bigger (more like the ones you would get on the street in NYC) Roll out a worm of dough as thick as your thumb and then make a pretzel shape, making sure to pinch the two little tails. Let those guys rest while you prepare their bath. First, preheat your oven to 450. In a largeish pan put enough water so that when it is boiling the pretzels will be free to float. The size of your pan will dictate the amount of water, and how many you can boil at one time. I use my wristbreaker pan, 3 inches deep and so big it breaks your wrist to pick it up. For every cup of water you put in, add one tablespoon of baking soda. Bring to a rolling boil and boil your pretzels for one minute each. transfer to WELL greased baking sheet (Im using parchment paper next time) In a cup mix up an egg wash - one egg and some water. Wash the pretzels generously with the egg, then salt the crap out of them. Or use garlic salt. Or whatever floats your boat. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Wait as long as you can to eat them, or you will burn your mouth like I did. I haven't tried out something that I have never done and had it come out this good. Trying new things is fun, especially when I avoid the dreaded Epic Fail. (remind me to tell you about the pumpkin cookies)
In my mixer, I put:
5 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of yeast (one pkg)
1 tablespoon salt
1/4 cup brown sugar
mix
to that add 2 cups of hot water
adjust the mixture until it is doing what bread dough should do - cleaning the sides of the bowl and not being really sticky to the touch. let your machine knead this for 2 minutes, or get your workout in and do it by hand for 10 to 15 minutes, till the dough is silky and elastic. place in greased large bowl, cover with plastic wrap and leave in a warmish place to rise until doubled (about an hour)
Divide dough into 12 balls. I did 16, but they ended up being fat little pretzel rolls instead of pretzels. I want them to be bigger (more like the ones you would get on the street in NYC) Roll out a worm of dough as thick as your thumb and then make a pretzel shape, making sure to pinch the two little tails. Let those guys rest while you prepare their bath. First, preheat your oven to 450. In a largeish pan put enough water so that when it is boiling the pretzels will be free to float. The size of your pan will dictate the amount of water, and how many you can boil at one time. I use my wristbreaker pan, 3 inches deep and so big it breaks your wrist to pick it up. For every cup of water you put in, add one tablespoon of baking soda. Bring to a rolling boil and boil your pretzels for one minute each. transfer to WELL greased baking sheet (Im using parchment paper next time) In a cup mix up an egg wash - one egg and some water. Wash the pretzels generously with the egg, then salt the crap out of them. Or use garlic salt. Or whatever floats your boat. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Wait as long as you can to eat them, or you will burn your mouth like I did. I haven't tried out something that I have never done and had it come out this good. Trying new things is fun, especially when I avoid the dreaded Epic Fail. (remind me to tell you about the pumpkin cookies)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Well, it has been two months since I wrote anything so I thought I would put my thoughts down now. I am on day 8 of 15 days without my husband...damn you Duracell! I am holding up pretty well, but the mirror is sure to crack eventually! Last weekend was ornament making around here. I used a salt-dough recipe that smells fantastic due to the addition of a cup (!) of cinnamon:
4 cups flour
1 cup salt
1 and 1/2 cups water
1 cup cinnamon
it ended up taking more water than that, but you know the rules. make it be dough. Rocket science it ain't. It does, however, take forever to cook...2 plus hours at 275....slow and low. Don't forget to put holes in them. The dough is easy to work with and again, smells fantastic.
4 cups flour
1 cup salt
1 and 1/2 cups water
1 cup cinnamon
it ended up taking more water than that, but you know the rules. make it be dough. Rocket science it ain't. It does, however, take forever to cook...2 plus hours at 275....slow and low. Don't forget to put holes in them. The dough is easy to work with and again, smells fantastic.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Things That Make Me Smile
On the list of things that make me smile are these two things: Making my own bread and smiling children vacuuming my floors. I've got a batch in the oven right now, on it's final proof, and if anyone is interested I will share my white bread recipe. So there's that, and then there is the mental image of Harrison being so excited to vacuum the rug that he laughed the whole time. My children do chores - I know some may think they are too young, but at least they help. The key to having kids do chores is lowering your expectations. I don't care if their laundry is perfectly folded. At least I didn't have to do it. Yeah, I am lazy. I can't help it. I am here alone with them, no extra pair of hands taking out the trash or picking up the crap that piles up like snowdrifts in the corners of the room or the couch. Everybody has chores, and for the most part, they get done. It keeps me sane, and isn't the goal here to keep me from running down the road screaming?
Back to The Grind
Well, the weekend is over, and that means that I am a single mom again. Not really a whole lot of fun, but what the hell, right? I have huge sympathy for all the 'real' single mothers out there...especially since they all have real jobs and I just do the one thing. Parenting alone is much more difficult than it seems on the surface. I am tired of doing it, quite frankly, and am beginning to wonder what I did to piss someone off enough that they would think that this was a good 'test' or punishment. SCREW THAT! I done my time, now let me off the hook already! I want to be kickin' it in N to the H, closer to Aunty Money, seeing my man every night....what evs, people! Arrrright, all I'm doing is whining into my coffee, so I will post something more upbeat later.
EXCUSE LIMIT: ZERO
EXCUSE LIMIT: ZERO
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday is Pie Day at the Beer House
Well well well. What a lazy Sunday. I hate today because the weekend is over. No fun. At least the monkey didn't fling his poop, and The Bobcat had no accidents. I am not much in the mood for writing, but I will share the recipes for tonight's all pie dinner. Sundays around here end up being pie days more often than not, sometimes Beef Pot Pie and Apple, Quiche and a Blueberry tart, or tonight's menu: Shepherd's Pie and Strawberry Pie for dessert. It is not often that we actually call it 'shepherd's pie' - my mom and I have always called it 'Shepherd's Dummy' or just 'Dummy'. As in "I am just making Dummy tonight." - I think because everyone requests it so often. Mom and I wonder what it is about Dummy that men love so much. I'm sure that if I made it every night James would not complain. My recipe for Dummy is just that: MY recipe....I did not copy it from anywhere and I don't have a plan when I do it, but this is the one my mother made (or as close to it as I could come)
Shepherd's Dummy
1 to 2 lbs ground beef (or lamb or venison)
1 medium onion
salt, pepper, Worcestershire Sauce and garlic powder
1 can creamed corn
1/2 a can or so of corn - I have been using frozen lately, and it works just fine.
3 (?) lbs. of potatoes, mashed
Saute the onion till it is translucent, then add the beef. I have been using ground beef from Jeff Payeur, who raised it himself, and it is a little greasy, so I just do the onions and beef first and then drain it in a colander (a trick I learned from Mary) Then start adding your salt, pepper, a dash or two of the garlic powder, then a turn in the pan of the wooshershisher. Let it cook down a little, then put it in a casserole dish. spread the creamed corn on, then layer on the whole kernel corn. Mash your potatoes however you like. I do butter (maybe 3 tablespoons) salt pepper and milk, but add in mayo sometimes if I don't have enough butter. Don't be turning your nose up! It's actually really good. spread the potatoes on top of the corn and meat. The best way to do this is to blop down some big scoops and then spread it - if you try too hard to spread it it just gets corn all mixed in with your potatoes. spread it all the way to the edge, sealing everything up tight. you can make it all peaky and dab it with butter and sprinkle it with paprika if the Pope is coming over, but as often as not I just let her rip, 375 degree oven for about 1/2 an hour. I also will do it at 400 or 350, depending if I need the oven for something else. SO YUMMY
Now, Strawberry Pie: Get out your pens and write down the best pie crust recipe ever!
4 c flour
2 c shortening
mix those together
in a one cup measure scramble an egg. Add 1 Tsp of vinegar, then fill with water to the top. Add to the flour/shortening mixture and mix until its like dough (you know the drill...add more water if it's too dry, more flour if it's too dry. This makes at least 2 double crusts and is as easy to roll out as playdough - keep leftover in the fridge and pull it out when you need it...trust me - try it and you will LOVE it.
Filling:
2/3 c sugar
1/3 c flour
frozen strawberries (I eyeballed enough to fit in a pie plate) I mixed those three ingredients together and let them sit for maybe 40 minutes before I baked the pie. I used a double crust for this and it was super good, garnering 2221 thumbs up from Harry.
I hope you aren't thinking you are going to get exact recipes from me....I am just telling it like I make it. Be not afraid in your kitchen! You are not going to get fired if something doesn't come out right. Try this pie, it is AWESOME.
Shepherd's Dummy
1 to 2 lbs ground beef (or lamb or venison)
1 medium onion
salt, pepper, Worcestershire Sauce and garlic powder
1 can creamed corn
1/2 a can or so of corn - I have been using frozen lately, and it works just fine.
3 (?) lbs. of potatoes, mashed
Saute the onion till it is translucent, then add the beef. I have been using ground beef from Jeff Payeur, who raised it himself, and it is a little greasy, so I just do the onions and beef first and then drain it in a colander (a trick I learned from Mary) Then start adding your salt, pepper, a dash or two of the garlic powder, then a turn in the pan of the wooshershisher. Let it cook down a little, then put it in a casserole dish. spread the creamed corn on, then layer on the whole kernel corn. Mash your potatoes however you like. I do butter (maybe 3 tablespoons) salt pepper and milk, but add in mayo sometimes if I don't have enough butter. Don't be turning your nose up! It's actually really good. spread the potatoes on top of the corn and meat. The best way to do this is to blop down some big scoops and then spread it - if you try too hard to spread it it just gets corn all mixed in with your potatoes. spread it all the way to the edge, sealing everything up tight. you can make it all peaky and dab it with butter and sprinkle it with paprika if the Pope is coming over, but as often as not I just let her rip, 375 degree oven for about 1/2 an hour. I also will do it at 400 or 350, depending if I need the oven for something else. SO YUMMY
Now, Strawberry Pie: Get out your pens and write down the best pie crust recipe ever!
4 c flour
2 c shortening
mix those together
in a one cup measure scramble an egg. Add 1 Tsp of vinegar, then fill with water to the top. Add to the flour/shortening mixture and mix until its like dough (you know the drill...add more water if it's too dry, more flour if it's too dry. This makes at least 2 double crusts and is as easy to roll out as playdough - keep leftover in the fridge and pull it out when you need it...trust me - try it and you will LOVE it.
Filling:
2/3 c sugar
1/3 c flour
frozen strawberries (I eyeballed enough to fit in a pie plate) I mixed those three ingredients together and let them sit for maybe 40 minutes before I baked the pie. I used a double crust for this and it was super good, garnering 2221 thumbs up from Harry.
I hope you aren't thinking you are going to get exact recipes from me....I am just telling it like I make it. Be not afraid in your kitchen! You are not going to get fired if something doesn't come out right. Try this pie, it is AWESOME.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Life Sucking Cranberry Margaritas
OK, so normally my sacred mother does not give me recipes for drinks, since she herself does not drink - EVER. Which is funny, because she just doesn't, and she complains to me that when she goes to parties and the like, people ask her if she would like a drink, she says no, and (her words) 'everyone thinks I'm some old recovering drunk or a religious freak that is going to come by with 'The Watchtower' tomorrow'. Anyhoo, Mama called me last year and tells me she has a recipe for me, and imagine my surprise when it is for Cranberry Margaritas. She thought it would be a fun drink to have when we have our guests at the various holiday parties we throw. So I forced James to make them for Renee and I last Thanksgiving. We have since renamed them James' Famous Life-Sucking Cranberry Margaritas, since he bitches so much about how long it takes to make them. They are worth every moment that they shave off your life.
James' Famous Life-Sucking Cranberry Margaritas
In a microwave safe cup (read coffee mug) put 3 measures cranberry juice, 1/4 measure of honey and a pinch of salt. Heat just enough so the honey melts. In a shaker filled with ice, combine 1.5 measures of tequila, 1/2 measure triple sec and the cranberry mixture. Shake well and strain into margarita glass or BIG martini glass.
In retrospect, perhaps it is the sheer number of times Renee and I made him make us 'just one more' that James felt was sucking the life out of him. At any rate, this is one delightful festive! Enjoy, try it and let me know what you think!
James' Famous Life-Sucking Cranberry Margaritas
In a microwave safe cup (read coffee mug) put 3 measures cranberry juice, 1/4 measure of honey and a pinch of salt. Heat just enough so the honey melts. In a shaker filled with ice, combine 1.5 measures of tequila, 1/2 measure triple sec and the cranberry mixture. Shake well and strain into margarita glass or BIG martini glass.
In retrospect, perhaps it is the sheer number of times Renee and I made him make us 'just one more' that James felt was sucking the life out of him. At any rate, this is one delightful festive! Enjoy, try it and let me know what you think!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Well well well. It is Friday and my husband has been home for a day after 10 in Chicago....being a sometime single mom is not really as fun as it sounds, but I do, as the song says 'get by with a little help from my friends.' Talking on the telephone is, I think, one of the lost arts. In my time here in purgatory I am not sure that I would have made it this far if not for the telephone and my good friends on the other end of the line. Who says you have to be in the same room to have a drink together? Some of my best times in the past two years have been having drinks with my friends over the phone. Its a simple concept, really, although it takes a bit for some people to get the gist of it. You start with a time, so you can be set up to settle down with your drink and your friend, just like if they were coming over to visit. In my world, this is a little more complicated than it seems. Let me explain.
While my work hours are largely undefined, my employers are in general expecting me to be on point 25/8. Yes, you read that right. Let us back up even a step further and look at my job description. I am chief bottle washer and bottom wiper. As I write this, I realize that the word 'chief' denotes that there is someone else that either works for me or with me, and alas, there is not. I am in charge of entertainment, craft services, work load distribution, dispute mediation and sanitation services. Also among my duties are transportation coordinator, human resource manager and hunter gatherer, to name a few. My employers leaves me largely to my own devices during the day, provided I can perform my duties in a timely fashion. Come 4:00 I am expected to be on point and ready to serve, however. I need to feed the 4 of them, clean to the best of my ambition (which ain't much lately, I can tell you that!) allow for some entertainment time, bathe, book and bed two of them, manage the hygiene of the older two, check homework and usher the older ones into bed. We call this process 'The Night Train' for no reason that any of us can remember, although it certainly does resemble a train once it gets rolling, and it stops for no man. 4:00 comes, and by the time I have completed all of my duties it is 8:00. Now is the time for the making of drinks.
Drinking has long been a hobby of mine, one that I embrace like a lover as often as I can. I am not talking about the rash and indiscriminate consumption of whatever is lying around, although I am not above that. A finely crafted drinky-poo, well placed in you evening, can erase the image of poop smeared on your 18 month old (a result of a clever diaper-removing, poop-flinging monkey) or the depressing sight of clean folded laundry being trampled by the horde in their effort to have 'fun'. I recommend something complicated that wastes at least 10 minutes of your life in the making. My favorites are Cosmos (cliche but yummy), Martinis and my husband's famous life wasting Margaritas, the recipe for which I will share with you. Anyway, I craft my drink, dial the phone, and proceed to pretend that my friend is sitting here with me, right down to uttering the phrase 'let's do a shot'. What do we talk about? Everything and nothing all at once. I could not hope to describe the scope of our conversations, but suffice to say that the hour or so that I share with Renee or Stephanie or Mandy make me able to go to bed smiling and wake up able to face another day of servitude, and often make it possible for me to do so with hope in my heart. Hope that this limbo will end and I will live with my husband once again. So I propose this: A toast to Alexander Graham Bell and to my friends, without whom I would be heavily sedated. My nerd of a husband just told me we should include Meucci and Grey, as they, concurrently with Bell, invented telephones. This is a phenomenon (doo doo doo doo doo) that has happened several times in history, with one guy getting all the credit and a bunch of luckless saps making simultaneous awesome discoveries getting the historical shaft. You learn something new every day.
While my work hours are largely undefined, my employers are in general expecting me to be on point 25/8. Yes, you read that right. Let us back up even a step further and look at my job description. I am chief bottle washer and bottom wiper. As I write this, I realize that the word 'chief' denotes that there is someone else that either works for me or with me, and alas, there is not. I am in charge of entertainment, craft services, work load distribution, dispute mediation and sanitation services. Also among my duties are transportation coordinator, human resource manager and hunter gatherer, to name a few. My employers leaves me largely to my own devices during the day, provided I can perform my duties in a timely fashion. Come 4:00 I am expected to be on point and ready to serve, however. I need to feed the 4 of them, clean to the best of my ambition (which ain't much lately, I can tell you that!) allow for some entertainment time, bathe, book and bed two of them, manage the hygiene of the older two, check homework and usher the older ones into bed. We call this process 'The Night Train' for no reason that any of us can remember, although it certainly does resemble a train once it gets rolling, and it stops for no man. 4:00 comes, and by the time I have completed all of my duties it is 8:00. Now is the time for the making of drinks.
Drinking has long been a hobby of mine, one that I embrace like a lover as often as I can. I am not talking about the rash and indiscriminate consumption of whatever is lying around, although I am not above that. A finely crafted drinky-poo, well placed in you evening, can erase the image of poop smeared on your 18 month old (a result of a clever diaper-removing, poop-flinging monkey) or the depressing sight of clean folded laundry being trampled by the horde in their effort to have 'fun'. I recommend something complicated that wastes at least 10 minutes of your life in the making. My favorites are Cosmos (cliche but yummy), Martinis and my husband's famous life wasting Margaritas, the recipe for which I will share with you. Anyway, I craft my drink, dial the phone, and proceed to pretend that my friend is sitting here with me, right down to uttering the phrase 'let's do a shot'. What do we talk about? Everything and nothing all at once. I could not hope to describe the scope of our conversations, but suffice to say that the hour or so that I share with Renee or Stephanie or Mandy make me able to go to bed smiling and wake up able to face another day of servitude, and often make it possible for me to do so with hope in my heart. Hope that this limbo will end and I will live with my husband once again. So I propose this: A toast to Alexander Graham Bell and to my friends, without whom I would be heavily sedated. My nerd of a husband just told me we should include Meucci and Grey, as they, concurrently with Bell, invented telephones. This is a phenomenon (doo doo doo doo doo) that has happened several times in history, with one guy getting all the credit and a bunch of luckless saps making simultaneous awesome discoveries getting the historical shaft. You learn something new every day.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
So here is the back story: I lived with my husband and our three children in central Maine in a spot just this side of the edge of the earth. We were happy (sort of), we did the sorts of things that people living in rural America do - plant gardens, make things from scratch, knit, raise chickens....ok, not everyone in rural america does those things, and the people that do would be insulted by my comparison, but our family motto is "How hard could it be?" so we try anything that catches our eye.
Then it all changed. My hubby scented on the wind the imminent end of his employment and tried to find another job. While he tried, we panicked and that RIGHTEOUSLY, and we set to talking and drinking on the porch. Well, after a month of that, I realized that we were adding to our clan of 5 to make it an even 6 pack. Then, all the pieces started to fall into place - James finds a hot job with a great company that is three hours away. YAY! He works three hours away, sleeps in his shop during the week, and comes home on the weekends. Its not ideal, but how long could it really take to sell a house? We put the house on the market with high hopes of being gone by Christmas and what do you know? Here it is, TWO years later and I am a single mother of four four days a week in the forsaken lands. I have a friend who has been encouraging me to write a blog about it, and I have finally done so. This is a place where you will find funny stuff, tasty stuff, stuff to do, even advice about stuff if you want it ( not that I know anything, but whatever works.) I am slowly losing my mind out here on the fringe, and you, dear reader, may help me find it again. I hope you enjoy, and I hope we can serve each others needs like a pimp and his ho.
Then it all changed. My hubby scented on the wind the imminent end of his employment and tried to find another job. While he tried, we panicked and that RIGHTEOUSLY, and we set to talking and drinking on the porch. Well, after a month of that, I realized that we were adding to our clan of 5 to make it an even 6 pack. Then, all the pieces started to fall into place - James finds a hot job with a great company that is three hours away. YAY! He works three hours away, sleeps in his shop during the week, and comes home on the weekends. Its not ideal, but how long could it really take to sell a house? We put the house on the market with high hopes of being gone by Christmas and what do you know? Here it is, TWO years later and I am a single mother of four four days a week in the forsaken lands. I have a friend who has been encouraging me to write a blog about it, and I have finally done so. This is a place where you will find funny stuff, tasty stuff, stuff to do, even advice about stuff if you want it ( not that I know anything, but whatever works.) I am slowly losing my mind out here on the fringe, and you, dear reader, may help me find it again. I hope you enjoy, and I hope we can serve each others needs like a pimp and his ho.
Welcome to The Atomic Kitchen!
Here it is! What you have all been waiting for! The Atomic Kitchen is finally open for business! What you will find here on my little blog are things of interest to noone but me....ramblings about life waaaaay out here on the edge of nowhere, anecdotes about my kids, cats, dogs, husband, chicken, self, MAC DADDY recipes and tips on how to make your kitchen more Atomic and a happier place. First of all, let me clear my throat.....
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