Holy Hot Pretzels!

So I got it in my head to make pretzels. I looked and looked for a recipe for hard pretzels and couldn't find one. So then I started the search for a soft pretzel recipe and discovered that the internets have become a wasteland of crappy recipes. So I took several recipes and put them together, and WOW. Hot from the oven these are WELL worth the trouble (which ain't much) and they are still yummy cold. I let the kids dip them in chocolate sauce, I dipped mine in mustard, but if I had my way my Walmart would have had the liquid cheese that I favor - Rico's. If you haven't had it, you don't understand. So the only thing that you need for these that you might not have lying around is almost 3/4 of a cup of baking soda. I buy mine at BJ's, so it wasn't a problem for me. I use instant dry yeast, which does not need to be activated, so if you are using active dry or something else, do what you would normally do to activate it. Here we go:
In my mixer, I put:
5 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of yeast (one pkg)
1 tablespoon salt
1/4 cup brown sugar
mix
to that add 2 cups of hot water
adjust the mixture until it is doing what bread dough should do - cleaning the sides of the bowl and not being really sticky to the touch. let your machine knead this for 2 minutes, or get your workout in and do it by hand for 10 to 15 minutes, till the dough is silky and elastic. place in greased large bowl, cover with plastic wrap and leave in a warmish place to rise until doubled (about an hour)
Divide dough into 12 balls. I did 16, but they ended up being fat little pretzel rolls instead of pretzels. I want them to be bigger (more like the ones you would get on the street in NYC) Roll out a worm of dough as thick as your thumb and then make a pretzel shape, making sure to pinch the two little tails. Let those guys rest while you prepare their bath. First, preheat your oven to 450. In a largeish pan put enough water so that when it is boiling the pretzels will be free to float. The size of your pan will dictate the amount of water, and how many you can boil at one time. I use my wristbreaker pan, 3 inches deep and so big it breaks your wrist to pick it up. For every cup of water you put in, add one tablespoon of baking soda. Bring to a rolling boil and boil your pretzels for one minute each. transfer to WELL greased baking sheet (Im using parchment paper next time) In a cup mix up an egg wash - one egg and some water. Wash the pretzels generously with the egg, then salt the crap out of them. Or use garlic salt. Or whatever floats your boat. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Wait as long as you can to eat them, or you will burn your mouth like I did. I haven't tried out something that I have never done and had it come out this good. Trying new things is fun, especially when I avoid the dreaded Epic Fail. (remind me to tell you about the pumpkin cookies)